When I first began to research NLP, I read everything I could find in my area on the subject. Trance-formations - Bandler & Grinder Frogs into Princes - Bandler & Grinder Tad James - Time Line Therapy Influence, the Psychology of Persuasion - Robert Cialdini Cliff's Awesome Seduction Newsletter Seduction.com Newsletter Pickupguide FastSeduction FAQ Dan Scorpio's site My influences and guides along these twisty-turny roads have been and continue to be: Ross Jeffries - www.seduction.com Richard Bandler and John Grinder (NLP) alt.seduction.fast www.fastseduction.com (Jay Formhandle) www.pickupguide.com (Maniac's site) The Mindlist Cliff's Seduction Newsletter _________________________________________________________________________________ POETRY New Possibilites Surprised? To find yourself thinking clearly Attracted to the newest possibilities? To me this is what it is to be free Free to be yourself To do anything you desire You want it, you take it To feel the heat, to feel the fire If you listen to my voice Could you thinking the same Become motivated by the challenges before you Aroused by the call of your name Wouldn't it be amazing? It is a deeper place that you seek Feel great to be connected in this way To feel desire so strong and resistance so weak? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My Everything Have you ever listened To the sound of a voice That penetrates you deeply Leaves you no choice But to follow the words All the way down Sinking deeper and deeper As you hear the sound Picture yourself Falling under, spinning in space Not knowing the bottom or top Up and down has no place Find yourself In the most comfortable state Where boundries disappear And inhibitions are erased After you've been there You won't want it to end The place of unlimited pleasure A lover and a friend Let it all go Feel everything that there is to feel As you picture it in your mind Make it more and more real The more you think about How good it is going to be The more it will give you unbelievable pleasure And set you forever free Only one voice can accomplish this See, listen and feel between your sighs You have your own reasons for deciding Who give you this prize -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Connection of the Soul If you could Fill the deepest hole Isn't it incredible How two people have can such a connection Of the soul Find yourself Looking a whole new direction A glance that penetrates Deeper and deeper An incredible connection Picture this All of the time You want to come To your deepest senses In the back of your mind -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Woman The road was long, More and more each day You are femine and strong Read the signs on the way The more you think about it You become one with the sky Want and need bleed into Me, myself and I Find yourself in that special place 'My angels can fly' Voices let go of inhibitions Inside you say 'goodbye ' Your thoughts find your Head full of desire Your pleasures feel and burn Mind, heart and fire Letting your heart scream 'Me and the world!' Penetrate your deepest thoughts You are more than a girl. You are a woman... -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Love Machine Pentium Inside Fan Blowing on the CPU Heat Sink, Cursor Blink, Computers and U UU encode Zip the big file Close the program down Off/On switch with electrical ground Ram internal and compile Fingering the keyboard Your Firewalls detection Devices and vices Handheld mouses and mices Touch sensitive selection Skills and programming feats Deep inside big blue Explode the code Load and download All the system thru Dialup Modems Phones Lines that are direct Web Cams spying Feverously typing Waiting to connect Disc that are compact Hard drives to store Sweating & Crunching code Swallowing asci and binary whole And U still wants more Computer is What U desire to be Switching in new directions Hardware and software detection Almost living, vibrating and free. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Feel Pull and push See and feel Happiness Deep Inside You -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sensation Steaming, naked and hot You and I slide into the warm bath Two lovers intwined The ageless photograph Over the top and deep below me Water swirls and waves rise Feel the heat of two become one Water's kiss between your sighs -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Happily Ever After After we have been together After we fill the deep blue sky After I hold your warm soft hand After I touch your beautiful hair After I kiss your longing lips After I love you inside You will know why You and I Should be together Forever. _________________________________________________________________________________ Phrase Ambiguities are interesting things. When used with the right tonality, unerring inflection and just a sprinkle of pausing...can ellicit feelings and desires in the unconscious mind. Some of these are my own invention of prose. I will point them out just because I am quite proud of them (cuz they are funny). I have learned a great deal of how these work from RJ and ASF. In reality, they are just words strung together - when said correctly can hold two different meanings and connotations to the listener - and it is ambiguous - they can take it either way! Check out Joe Smith's site - he has a more info about this verbal phenomenom. ** Here are some basics to get you started ** -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What you Say What is Sounds like New Direction "Your thoughts seem to move in a NEW DIRECTION" Nude Erection "Your thoughts seem to move in a NUDE ERECTION" Sleep...With me "Some things you can do in your SLEEP (pause)...WITH ME it is all the same" Sleep...With me "Some things you can do in your SLEEP WITH ME it is all the same" Your coming "Your COMING from a much deeper place" Your cumming "Your CUMMING from a much deeper place" Happiness "Deep inside, HAPPINESS fills you" Hap-penis "Deep inside, HAP-PENIS fills you" Hard on "I know these thingd are HARD ON you" Hard-on "I know these things are HARD-ON you" Analytically "Take it all in ANALYTICALLY" Anal-ytically "Take it all in ANAL-YTICALLY" Below Me "Those thoughts are BELOW ME" Blow Me "Those thoughts are BLOW ME" Your Mind "You know YOUR MIND" Your Mine "You know YOUR MINE" Close off "Close of that part of your mind..." Clothes off "Clothes off that part of your mind..." Some of my own invention Jen, I tell ya "My friend Jen, I tell ya she has the deepest understanding" Genitailia "My friend GENITALIA - she has the deepest understanding" Pull See "The long pipe was stuck. I tried to push & PULL. SEE, it was in deep!" Pussy "The long pipe was stuck. I tried to push & PUSSY, it was in deep!" Computer is "The COMPUTER IS turned on!" Comp-Uterus "The COMP-UTERUS turned on!" Love Juice "I (pause) LOVE JUICE!" Love Juice "I (pause - sexy inflection LOVE JUICE!" _________________________________________________________________________________ Trance States A trance is an unconscious state of mind [although your conscious mind is functioning, the unconscious part is accessed]. Like driving or watching TV, the conscious mind 'zones out' and the unconscious mind is in control. When driving a car, I do not have to consciously put my foot on the brake to stop - after a while, it become automatic - impressed into the unconscious. Trance states can take many forms. When dealing with persuasion/NLP/SS the unconscious mind is being told to listen/feel/see/smell - whether the conscious mind is cognizant of the "trance-instructions" or not! Trance states can also be strong or subtle. In the case of STRONG - it can be a loud noise, a street fight, a loud obnoxious person. Think about when you are at a restaurant and there is a 'scene'. What do we immediately do? Look in that direction, try to discover what is happening, lose ourselves in the moment? How about a street fight? Or a lovers spat? We become engrossed in what is happening and everything else falls away. Trance states can also be SUBTLE. If someone has a very funny personality - everytime he/she says something, you hang on every word. You know something funny is going to be said - this is entrancing. The is similar to intelligent people - they say the most interesting things...and these interesting things are entrancing! I believe this is why being funny is so important in PU. _________________________________________________________________________________ Reframing Reframing is an interesting theory which I am studying. I am getting most of my material from Bandler and Grinder's books. The basics are simple in explanation, but definitely complex in procedure. You take a situation where you are strong in *X* (confident, exciting, funny, quick-witted etc.), imagine it, feel it, see it, hear it - now take those feelings from situation *X* and place those feelings in situation *Y* (eg; lack of confidence - approaching women) which you want to feel *X*. I have discovered an interesting way to reframe that seems to work wonders for me. What I have done is look at all of my walk-ups and attempts at Pick ups as an experiment. If it is an experiment, the object of each attempt is to see what works and what does not. If I fail using an approach, it is duly noted and I try something else. It is a great learning experience - I am not nearly as nervous because of this - if it fails - it is just an experiment anyway. Like in grade school science class I suppose, but without the bad grades. So I am reframing a pickup (which is thwart with nervousness) to an experiment for school (which is like homework). Before I start the approach, I have a PU experiment sheet that I fill out- Click here to see it(Copyright 2001 Mindiscovery & David Johnson) - containing pre and post information. Now, this is best filled out after the attempt because it will free you up from specifics - remember Process, not Content. If you are too adhered to a particular style or way of thinking, you cannot change when it is needed - and change and flexibility is extremely important when using these tools. If I am working on a specific type of opening (remembering different situations dictate different thinking and mindsets), I might mark that down first - but this is best used when it is left blank -- but having said that, if you are truly trying to work and perfect an opening strategy (funny, compliment, neg) or approach (cold, 3 second rule, 'hi routinue' etc.) , then by all means, mark it down first so you stick with it. Once I have the experiment ready on paper and in my mind, I go for it. I approach the girl and try whatever comes to mind. After I finish with the pickup, I go back and write down what I have learned from the situation. Now this might seem like a laborious task, but I find it greatly enhances the learning experience. I don't have to second guess myself or remember what I have and have not done because I have written it down. Also, writing it down forces me to mentally go thru it in my mind and find the mistakes and challenges. Here is a recent tip I got from ASF. A poster named Stevie_m came up with this ingenius method of pushing the fear down when approaching - " I had an interesting expeience that allowed me to reframe the way I looked at a girl , and also in consequence, I believe the way I look at girls generally. This is a useful and important learning potentially. I went out with my friend and we met up with a guy he knows and a girl from work they both knew. She reminded me of my old girlfriend from years ago, someone I had a lot of fun with ..someone who treated me well and was really into me. I am not saying that this new girl looked just like her , it was more of the expression she had or the way she moved. The effect of this on me was singular. It allowed me to take the old feelings ..useful and positive feelings ..that I have about my old girlfriend and project them or transfer them to the new girl. This transference allowed a major reframe that completely changed my state and my behavior. I interacted with the new girl in a fun , easy going ,entertaining way. I knew I didn't have to impress her as she alread "digged" me ..after all we had "already" had so much fun together. The results were very good . She and I had lots of kino ...she kept following me around and talking to me ...kept sneaking glances at me when we were apart and smiling. In short she showed major signs of being attracted. She even played with her finger ring in a Freudian manner I used some pattern fragments on her. I will use this again. It allowed me to approach and interact in a totally natural and fun manner. Try it !!!! Stevie. _________________________________________________________________________________ Openers Well, before you do anything, you have to approach! Approaching is probably one of the hardest and most sought after (and elusive) routines in SS. I believe that openers are difficult because of nervousness and saying the wrong thing. The best state to be in before you approach is one of indifference - If you don't care either way, nervousness will fade away. Think about it. Are you nervous around a friend, family member, a store clerk? Nope. Get over the idea of picking up the girl and instead think of it as making a new friend -- first (see reframing and OAU). Having said that, here are a few ways to break this ice: 1) Read Handwriting, Palms, Tarot Cards, Magic tricks etc. This method puts you in the showman's chair. You have center stage. It also places you on a pedestal of 'he knows something I don't'. Curiosity and sometimes awe. 2) Laughter. Get her laughing, it is a positive way to let her guard down. Since laughter is universal, it creates Instant Rapport. RJ 3) Compliment her on something not-so-obvious. Pick a trait that is not something generic. Instead of 'you are so beautiful', say something like 'you know, you have an amazing eye for fashion', 'You have great eyelashes (girls love this one)'. 4) Question her about something on her person. Pick something that she is wearing, either it be clothes, jewerly, shoes etc. 'That is so interesting, where did you get that ring?' JF 5) Ask where something is. 'Do you know where the subway is?' 6) Pretend you know her from somewhere. 'Excuse me aren't you...Oh, I'm sorry. You really look like...' 7) Find something common in the surrounding environment. 'You know, I never noticed those pillars on that building before, did you?', 'Did you know the trains are running late?' DJ 8) Say 'hi' and just ask them how they are. This is a more gutsy approach. People are typically afraid of getting blanked, shut-down or a so-so reponse - so followup is important - 'don't feel like talking, huh? I know/see what you mean/how you feel' - you have paced her reality and mirrored her at the same time. This also sets up intrigue because she wants to know why YOU KNOW WHAT SHE MEANS! DJ 9) Train or bus. Pretend you don't know where you are going or how to get there. This is a great ice-breaker because people in general are helpful - this is one of my favourite, unassuming ways to develop a conversation. DJ 10) Candy for the ladies. I have always done this and still do it to a certain extent (usually during holidays when I have an extra amount of candy from my parents or friends). I bring some candies with me when I go out. Start eating them in front of girls and if they ask - offer one. 11) You looking at me?. I am sure everyone has had this experience. You are out at a club, restaurant, mall, coffee shop, school - heck, anyway where there are girls. You look over and see some cute girl looking at you. You think, 'ok, just a coincidence, she is just looking around'. Then again she is looking 'maybe just my imagination'. Over and over, you see her looking again, then again. This cannot be my imagination! You finally build up the courage to go over... Me : I saw you looking over at me/in my direction and thought I would come up and say hi. Her : Sorry, I wasn't looking at you/I thought you were someone else. This is the kind of response I absolutely abhor. This is especially maddening when you know for a fact that she is bald-face lying to you. So what do you do? I have been working on something that I think might help: Same situation Me : I saw you looking over at me and I thought I would come up and chat with you. Her : Sorry, I wasn't looking at you. Me : Ok, fair enough. I just thought you might be someone that would be interested in meeting new people and exploring new challenges - in short, someone that I might want to meet. I guess I was wrong. Now this is loaded! I puts her on the spot for a number of reasons. Is she someone that likes meeting new people? Does she like challenges? You also set yourself up as the prize and not the chaser - someone that I might want to meet. You can end it with 'I guess I was wrong or am I wrong? If you perform the former, you should walk away, if the later - stay for the response. 12) How ya doing? What's your name? I learned this one from an old Pro. He is about 60 years old and still great with the ladies. If he sees a girl he wants to meet, he either walks by her or when she walks by him says 'How ya doing? What's your name?' He says this with a big smile and full of confidence. And guess what? He always gets a positive response. This is very similar to Handshaking. It is an unconscious response when someone sticks out their hands. We immediately take it (in North American culture at least). It is ingrained into our psyche (unconscious). _________________________________________________________________________________ Rapport Once the opener is complete, you have to gain rapport. When trying to persuade people using NLP or SS, I believe this is one of most important steps. Rapport is creating a close connection or affinity with the person(s) you are in contact with. This will help immensely when trying to persuade the individual. Rapport can be achieved thru various methods : 1) The 'Hi' routine. Continually and unassumingly say 'hi' to people. This breaks down barriers and forms an almost instant rapport. Since you are not invading their personal space and it is a societal norm to return greetings, it is an easy way to create a general feelings of familiarity. JF 2) Eliciting Values or Trance words. Eliciting values is probably the easiest non-pattern approach to NLP/SS. By asking a series of questions about the person, you discover which words they lean on (these are called trance words - because they mimic exactly how the person feels) and repeat them back in a new and interesting way. The conversation that leads up to this is called 'Fluff Talk'. It is a method of getting the Values from a regular conversation. If after a few exchanges you do not get the VALUES you need - ask MORE specific questions that DO NOT REQUIRE a yes/no answer. Example: Me : So what did you do today? Anything interesting? Her : Well, I went shopping, but didn't get anything. Me : Why? Her : It is so hard to shop and not buy. But I am saving for a vacation. Me : Where are you going? Her : Cancun! Me : What do you like the best about vacationing? Her : I love to get away, do my own thing - get away from work. I love the beach - I can almost feel the waves! Me : Isn't it great when you have the FREEDOM to do and FEEL whatever you want. I love getting away, running down the beach and jumping into the waves. Doesn't that feel great? (Values Elicited : independance, freedom, discipline) also she is Kinesthetic (feel the waves) work with words that echo this. 3) Pacing Reality. Pacing reality is very important because it causes the subject to agree with you because you are offering verifiable observations. You pick readily observable images/feelings/sounds and link them one after another. Theoretically, if the first thing you say is true and the second thing is true - then the last one should be true as well. JF Example: Girl sitting in a coffee shop. Say hi and sit down beside her. Me (sitting down) : "Isn't it great when you can sit down after a long day, relax in a great place, have a coffee and talk to someone wonderful, even if you just met him?' 4) Mirroring. Mirror is the process where you mimic the other person in some physical/mental way which creates rapport. It can be sublte or it can be obvious. If you mirror properly, you in turn can be the leader and she will begin to follow you cues. Mirroring can be : Sitting the same way Blinking at roughly the same time Holding you hands (and things in your hands) the same way - coffee cups, books Brushing your hair back Rubbing your face Breathing Mirroring is very important because it creates a bond (of sorts) between two people. The definition of Mirroring should not be taken too literally. Mirroring is creating a rapport with a person by showing you are somewhat like them - in a way, it fools them into thinking you have alot in common. Just like echoing back trance words, the unconscious mind picks it up, but if done right - the conscious does not. So when you are mirroring a girl (or anybody) - try to pay attention to the process - not the content (RJ). If the girl is speaking excitedly, mirror that - you also talk excitedly. But here is where the process comes in : do what you have to do without worrying if it is exact. Let the situation dictate the amount of sameness you need to mirror. It might be just some general mirror-like gestures or posture, it might be breathing and blinking, but it might be just a general attitude. Try not to get caught up in whether you mirror her right and left or your right and left. The situation will dictate what to do, but mostly do what you feel is the most natural. The unconscious mind is brilliant. It will not discriminate that you are scratching you nose with your left hand, but she is using her right. It will worry about the scratching ** the process **. 5) General be a friendly open person. Nothing creates rapport better than being yourself - friendly and personable to everyone. _________________________________________________________________________________ Anchoring To me anchoring is a very important part of NLP & SS. If you bring out strong immediate emotions or feeling in someone - you can then anchor that emotion/feeling continually to a touch, sound, picture etc. It is best to discover what kind of person you are dealing with - are they Kinesthetic? Visual? Aural? (It is not a good practice to lump people into these specific categories, but if you were to take a general concensus people will fall into one or the other. However, people can be one, the other or all of the above!) SOUND Examples: Girl at night club - "Hear the music? Listen to that beat! Just POUNDING inside your head? Isn't it funny how everytime you hear that bom bom bom, you can't help but think of me/my voice seems to pop into your head?" - this is a DJ original (I believe) DJ In this example you have anchored the sound of the music to your voice or image of you. If she stays at the club - the more she hears the music, the more she will think of you! The sound of your voice is a very powerful anchor. If you link a seductive voice to her imagining the shower, bath, sex - everytime she hears your voice or imagines hearing it, she think of you - RJ. VISUAL Examples: Girl at coffee house - "I can tell something about you. You are a very visual person. You are the type of person that can be talking to someone, but making movies in your head about somewhere else you would rather be. Do me a favour, picture in your mind, something that motivates you" Her : 'Ok' Me : 'What is it?' Her : 'Getting married' (yikes!) Me : 'Now notice how if you shrink that picture down so it is really small, you really find how it seems less motivating?' Her : 'Yeah!' Me : 'But there is a big blank spot that needs to be filled, right? Isn't it exciting, that as you imagine that blank spot, a picture of me and you - just going out and having some fun, just POPS into its place. Makes it seem like something you would want to do, doesn't it?' - RJ Now visual can be internalizing pictures or what they see in front of them. Internal pictures last longer (IMHO) because they can take them whereever they go. In this example you have anchored what motivates her with the image of you and her going out. So everytime she think of what motivates her, she think of you. KINESTHETIC (KINO) Example: Girl beside you - "You know what it is like when you first step into a hot bath or shower? You can feel the steam coming at you and surrounding you? It is so relaxing and stimulating at the same time [grab her wrist and squeeze gently] As you feel me squeeze gently, can you feel the heat and wetness reach every part of your body? Feels exciting, doesn't it? And the more I touch you, the more excited you find yourself becoming' RJ & DJ KINO is a great way to anchoring because touching in general is very intimate. To touch someone, they have to let you into their personal space. _________________________________________________________________________________ The Close I am far down the learning curve when it comes to closing. Not so much how to close, but reading the signs that will say 'Yes, I like you - please close this sale!' Some of the basics are here : girls swirling her hair, open posture (not folding arms), good eye contact, interested in what you are saying (asking questions back). Here what some more advanced ASFer's said that have helped me out. Dohn Joe : ' Basically there is that feeling you can close that experience brings. You DON'T get a successful close if she LOOKS AROUND while talking to you and eye contact is scarce. That's a clear sign she's not into you and you can't do much about that. (If she looks down it's ok.) I know this from experience, there are chicks who are just not into me and that is that. Another negative body language element is if she has her arms crossed over her chest - that means total lack of openness towards you. You DO get a close when you feel you have built rapport with her and you feel she'd like some more. Then say you got to go and she'll be in the right mood for giving you her whereabouts. She'll see the close with you as an opportunity to get more of a fun thing. If you can't read any signs and need to go, try to close anyway. There's nothing to lose - and don't forget, attempting to close brings you the close or nothing, while NOT attempting to close brings you a solid nothing.' Alan Palmer : ' I also stay alert for reciprocal kino. I've found a chick will touch me as she talks, if she feels rapport with me - typically light touches on the arm or hand as she makes a point. If she doesn't touch me at all, then, depending on how long we have been talking, I take that as a bad sign. I also listen to her voice tonality very carefully and check whether it's congruent with her body position (open or closed) and her facial expression.' The most important part of closing is not to supplicate. You don't want to bow down and say 'please give me your phone number/email/sleep with me' You have to structure a way to get the number/email or her to 'come back to your place' without making it look like you are begging for it. Here are a few ways of closing: 1) How can we continue this? Structuring the sentence/pattern in such a way that it pushes the decision squarely on her shoulders and makes it look like it was her idea! 'I had a great time talking to you. Is there a way we can continue this conversation later/another time?' or 'I had a great time talking to you, can you think of a way that we could get together?'. It motivates her to give you her number or sit down and have coffee with you then and there. RJ 2) Get out quick - girls love a mysterious stranger . Leaving after the initial contact is a great way to push down your own private nervousness and get her wondering. Tell her you are very busy but would like to get together with her at a later date - make the exact date or time there - and split. Make up a meeting, someplace you have to go. Show her you are a person on the move and therefore important. Let them go home and think they just met a mysterious stranger! DJ _________________________________________________________________________________ Testing Your Resolve We are tested everyday. At work, at home, everywhere. Testing is about decisions. Are you going to make the right decision that provides you with the outcome you desire? Do you have the fortitude to say - 'Win or lose, I am making a stand'? Or are you going to fail to make a decision and be led by this failure your entire life. To me, testing is that serious. Although until recently, I have never put it into words - TESTING (a pseudo Hoop theory) is something that I am sure almost everyone experiences when dealing with a girl. I have been tested by girls and won 50% of the time. If I had been more cognizant of what was happening - I am sure I would have won almost every time. GIRLS ALWAYS TEST YOU! It is one way of determining whether you are worthy (survival of the fittest maybe?) of their love/lust/sex etc. Do you give in? Buy them flowers when they ask? Pick them up for shopping and drop them off even though you are busy? This is all testing AND the more I read about SS and ASF, the more I realised it was happening to me. And you know what? As soon as I recognized it, I started to train against it. I started providing myself with steps to counter these TESTS. Recognizing it is the BEST WAY TO PREVENT IT! Here are some recent examples: 1) Girl starting poking me in the chest - I poked her back - TEST PASSED 2) Girl asked me to pass her something that she was closer too getting than I : I said 'Don't test me' smiling slightly- TEST PASSED 3) Girl told me what she likes drinking : I said 'That's nice, get me a coke while you are buying that for yourself' - TEST PASSED At the end of each test, the girl smiles slyly and she might even be surpirsed. But she knows she has tested me and to tell you the truth, she prefers to LOSE! If she loses, you are a challenge. Girls want a challenge - they don't want doormats. Yes, you can be nice to a girl - holding open the door for them, being gentlemenly, being chivalrous etc. But there is a fine line between being gallant and bending over backwards. Passing the test is easier than you think - but it takes the realization WHEN IT IS HAPPENING (the process) to really have the most effect. Don't worry about exactly what she will say (content) it is not important. Just recognize the process behind it. As I have stated before, the more you become aware of it (the process), you can defeat it and win everytime. Knowing your Rules Girls also want to know your RULES. We all crave rules and structures in our lives, it helps eliminate guess work and makes it less chaotic than it already is. Can you imagine a society where there were no rules? With women it is the same thing. You can avoid alot of testing if you tell the girl your RULES and stick by it. Don't get mad, don't get vengeful - just tell them. If they are late for a date - don't scream and yell. Simply call them up, tell them that she is late and disrespected your time and that in the future any dealing with you will have to be on time (not late) or you will not be available. Now you can't have a rule for everything, but it is nice to be assertive when it counts. Here are a few of my rules: Don't disrespect my time. If you say you are going to do something, DO IT! If you are going to be late, call first. _________________________________________________________________________________ Neg Theory Neg theory was refined for seduction by a gentleman called 'Mystery'. It is a great insight into the mind of beautiful women and how they process information. It works like this: When a girl is very pretty (beautiful / hot babe [hb]) - ranking on the scale of either 9 or 10 - they are bombarded with men asking them out. They do not have to make any effort because their looks have always achieved for them what they need or want. Men constantly complimenting them. Guys are endlessly falling all over in an effort to meet them. Basically, because she is beautiful, men have put her on a pedastal. Using the 'Mystery Method' of 'Neg Theory', you take away this PEDASTAL and bring them back down to your level or even a level lower than you. I have my own Negs that I have been working on that deal more with ambiguities in their personalities - but MM stuff works nethertheless - and works well. Here are some examples: That is so cute! You nose wiggles when you talk. Do it again! Those are nice nails! Are they real? Oh, well they are nice anyway. Here is the breakdown. This must be said in a very light and off-handed manner. These are not put-downs. If you are too serious, this tends to be taken as a put-down rather than a humourous form of prose. With these simple sentences, you are taking a girl that is 'Perfect' and telling her that you don't see it that way. You see her - faults and all - and it does not impress you. In fact, she is pretty much the same as the other girls in the bar/mall/cafe. You do not cowtow to her because she is good looking. The girl, realizing that her looks are not going to get her anywhere with you, must try harder to impress you. SHE MUST MAKE THE EFFORT. Some of my ideas of Negs are this: You are really...unique (get the tonality right - like you are looking for a 'kind/nice' word) You are dressed...different Your smile is really...compelling They need to ask exactly what you mean - for more clarification - in these instances and therefore it creates an interest. _________________________________________________________________________________ My Philosophies These are my philosophies on various aspect of sex, men and women. As a human being that is not infallible, I am not always right. But I do have an open-mind. If you think am wrong, let me know. I do not mindiscovering something new. I am not opposed to change, it is the only way I will learn. Having said that, I can only speak for what I have experienced thru my life - and that experience has taught me that there is always something new to discover. Why do men want to see two woman together sexually and why is it so appealing? Why is it beyond gross when two guys are together? Well, here is my simple answer. Two girls together is STILL FEMININE (and sexy) Two guys together is NOT MASCULINE. See the difference? A woman's body is beautiful, curvey and hairless while a man's is angular and is built for more of a utilitarian purpose. Why are more women bi-curiosious then men? (I hope!). To a woman, sex is more of an emotional state of being, more of a merging of mind/body and heart than it is to a man - it is NOT ALL ABOUT BEING PHYSICAL! With men, sex is physical, it is about the animal inside, getting it on and getting off (except of course when you deeply love someone). It takes more to satisfy a woman than a man. A man can climax very quickly, if he is excited enough, whereas a woman (in most cases) needs to have the mental and emotional in synch before this happens. This is one of the reasons why they have sexual power over men. It has been commonly said that girls are as horney as guys. Very true, but they demand alot more of themselves to satisfy that hunger. With guys unfortunately, sometimes any hole will do. It does not work that way with women. If a girl is sexually active with a man and does not feel right about something - be it the relationship, something at work or home life - it is alot harder to reach climax because of this dichotomy between what her heart/mind is saying and what her body wants. I know that RJ says 'don't buy them dinner'. But sometimes, women want the whole romantic notion of love, dinner and dancing before they let you in. So keep that in mind next time she won't lay it on the table for you. Women are emotional. Guys are logical. It seems simple enough. But when dealing with the opposite sex, looks can be deceiving. Men are easy to figure out. We want (in no particular order): 1. Sex 2. Friends 3. Drinking 4. Sleep 5. Sports 6. Not to be hassled 7. Routine (for the most part) Why women have a hard time understanding and catering to these needs are because they are more prone to emotion and impulse. When a man gets angry and says what he thinks - that is based on his anger - emotion (which hopefully does not rear its ugly head too often). Women, on the other hand, are like that all the time. They cannot understand why we want to spend time with our friends drinking instead of hanging out watching a movie cuddling with them. Isn't it funny that when the boys have a night out, the girls always want to come. But when the girls have a night out, guys never even ask - happy to sit home and watch the game on TV. It is routine, it is relaxed and easy going nature that drivers men. Emotion drives women. That is why they buy hundreds of pair of shoes, dozen of different colour dresses etc. It is all based on the emotional need that needs to be fulfilled right then and there. They might be going out to a club that night and have a brown skirt they want to wear, heaven forfend that they wear a black pair with the brown. Hence, a new pair of shoes, probably a purse too, maybe a scrunchy for the hair and some new makeup... Men, on the other hand (in most cases) will not buy dozen of pairs of shoes cause the pair they have had for the last 3 years are still in good shape. If they still function, why get a new pair - that is logic. Why are girls believe in fate? Psychics? Astrology? I believe the long and short of it is: they would rather blame their good/bad decisions on the 'stars/fate' rather than hold themselves accountable for the decision they make. A good example is in dealing with relationships: 'I guess we are just not meant to be', she tells you. What does this leave you with? Nothing but a sense of loss and lack of understanding - you cannot change it because 'it is up to the fates'. Ok, here it is from the female perspective - a perspective that can't lose. Her: Ok, just broke up with a guy and I am dating a someone new. If things don't work out with this new guy, maybe my ex-boyfriend will take me back. If he takes me back, I guess we are 'meant to be/destined' (win), if he doesn't want to be with me, I guess 'we were not meant to be/destined' (win). Although she does not get the guy she wants in the later part, she still believes that her decision was sound. She does not have to blame herself in the decision because 'fate' made it so - you really can't argue with fate, can you? For me, I would never want to feel that helpless, but it seems girls don't mind being lead around by this notion. The good part about this belief is that you can use it to open and get a girl interested in you if you have a little knowledge in it. I find this dichotomy in alot of woman's thinking. Another example: I was in a rut at one point, long time between relationships. Whenever a girl offered me advice it was, without fail: a) You are trying too hard (if I told them that I wasn't trying at all), b) you are not trying hard enough. c) You must not be ready (if I told them I was single for 2 years), d) It must not be your time. Again it is easy to see this win/win situation that they put their line of think in. If A+B does not equal C, then D can be substituted and vise-versa. Why do guys hate wearing condoms? I have never had a problem with condoms. I don't think it makes that much of a difference - well at least not enough of a difference to make me risk aids, herpes, genital warts etc (and that is the tip of the iceberg). I believe it is a myth perpetuated by guys to convince girls (and themselves) that they are not worth wearing. I have heard too many guys say, ' Aids is a homosexual desease', 'I won't catch anything', 'I only had it in her for about 10 minutes!'. Well, to me the risk is not worth the reward. I think condoms are ok, there is still alot of sensation and it still feels great - without so much of the risk. It should be warned though that crabs and even gential warts (among others STD's) can be caught even while wearing a condom. Condoms are 95% effective against pregnacy, so even they are not full-proof - but I would rather have a 95% chance against it than no chance. Resistance to sex: Resistance comes in the forms of past experience and societal pressures. We are still, in the end of it all, animals. We need to procreate - the great feelings that come along with sex (orgasms and becoming excited) make sure of that. If this is true, along with the fact that the planet is divided up pretty evenly amongst males/females, why am I not getting laid every night? I believe the reason why one girl chooses a certain type is based upon what societal norms or past experience. Societal Norms : High school is like a smaller version of different aspects of society (albeit less mature). Cliques develop : business people date business people, artsy people date artsy people etc(although as always there can be a intermixing of the two - breaking away from the norm) and rumours spread. So what is stopping a great looking girl (or any girl for that matter) from walking up and banging an average guy on the street? Societal pressure -- RESISTANCE -- loosely based around the idea of 'type' - getting back to your nerd/babe context. It is also based on the idea (at least in the western culture) is that sex is 'bad' or 'dirty' - RESISTANCE. On the surface, some girls pretend that sex is the most foul act in the world - even though they enjoy it as much as we do. How many times have you heard a girl say in relation to sex 'that is disgusting!'? When the simple fact of the matter is that she will willingly have sex with her boyfriend/husband/lover and perform that same exact 'disgusting act' as long as it is monogamous/kept quiet, they are excited enough - or most importantly, if they let their resistance down... Past Experience : The basic fact that girls do not 'give themselves away' all the time is partly based on past experience. It could be that their mother told them not to give their heart (amalgamating the idea of sex with their love/heart) away lightly, it could be a fear instilled by their father (my little girl is not a whore!) or it could be the one-night-stand that went and told everyone and their cousin about the great lay he had - and it got back to her! This verifies what I solemnly believe - if you have sex with a girl (one night stand) and want it to continue (not only with you, but with your SS brothers) DON'T TELL EVERYONE ABOUT IT! It validates ALL OF HER FEARS - what her father told her, what her mother told her and what society thinks of 'girls like that'. Either way, it leads to resistance and makes it harder to break. That is where SS comes in... _________________________________________________________________________________ My SS Theories I know that it seems that SS and its theories have been analyzed to death. But I think I have come up with a few 'new' ideas or 'spins' on old ideas about SS. 1) Tell them you fantasize about them: This one is for someone that you know well enough (girl that is a friend or an acquaintence). Familiarity will let you escape being labeled as a stalker or some kind of pervert. Why it works is simple: Women (and men) want to be desired and feel desirable. By telling them you fantasize about them, shows they are desirable! By using this pattern matter-of-factly and not hitting on them (continue keeping them friends) lends more to the mystique. She HAS TO START reevaluating how she feels about you. They will immediately ask, 'Really?' and then wonder how long you have had these thoughts. Possibly, 'I didn't know you thought about me that way.' They might even start to imagine what you were imagining! 2) Ask them : 'What are you scared of?' This one I have used in the past and immediately places girls in a trance. It is not easy to get this one across, but if you are having a more indepth conversation - with a semi-intelligent girl, it usually gets a *pause* and then a really thoughtful answer or 'I am not sure...' with a confused look on their face. Anything that forces her to go deep will bring out this response, but it should be something that she has not really considered before. 3) When you give them your number/email - make sure YOU WRITE IT and place something memorable beside it (drawing, symbol, cartoon, nickname etc) Here are some memorable ideas: Nicknames - give yourself a funny nickname that directly deals with the conversation ( if she says 'You are really different', write down David # - the most unique and different guy you know.' Something directly in conversation (in your first meeting, you complimented her on her style) - call yourself, David - the style police. Something that you are wearing (if you are really stylish and stand out, make the most of it). This idea might seem a little odd, but let's break it down. You have just met this girl, good rapport and then you give her your number - David #. Now when you call a few days later and say, 'Hi, its David' - she might know 50 different David's. Make yourself special and unique. Using plain old business cards does not make you unique - I get hundreds of them every month! If you are going to give a business card, give yourself a nickname on the back like above. If you are like me, I hate calling and saying, 'Hi, its David. Remember we met at...' or 'Hi, its David. Remember we spoke a few days ago...' This is too vague. She really might not remember if she has alot going on in her life. Having a cool and unique handle can also be very endearing if you continue to court her. And if she gives you hers - get her to do the same - it creates a great fun rapport with the person. 4) SECRET METHOD a) Don't tell a girl everything about yourself! I believe that everyone is interesting in their own way. But unfortunately, everyone thinks that they interesting - just ask them! This can cause verbal diatribe about yourself with no end in sight. When you meet a girl - keep it to yourself. I know this might be hard, but it will be worth it. You might think you had the most interesting day/week/experience, but for the most part if girls are interested, they will ask. But here's where the mystique comes in : When they do ask - dodge the question (give some vague and short answer with a sly/cheeky smile *IMPORTANT* ) and ask something about her instead. She will soon pick up that you are avoiding the question. Why? What is he trying to cover? This creates a mysterious persona - someone that SHE HAS TO WORK HARD at to discover what is 'inside' YOU. Her : 'So, you never say anything about you! What did you do today?' Me : 'You know lots of different things. By the way, how did your weekend go?' Now she knows you are avoiding the question. For the most part, girls love to talk about themselves anyway. She will inevitably get back to asking the same question again later in the conversation. Don't stall by saying 'nothing'. This will make you seem boring and definitely NOT INTERESTING OR MYSTERIOUS! Always make up a vague notion of doing something that you cannot get into. b) I have a secret... Her : 'Ok, you have been avoiding my questions. Come on, out with it. Why won't you tell me anything about you' Me : 'You want to know my secret?' Her : 'Yes. Come on!' Me : 'Are you prepared to take this all the way' Her : 'Yes' (uncertainty - this will push them over the edge) Me : 'How do I know you will keep it a secret?' Her : 'I will' Me : 'Promise.' Her : 'Promise.' Me : 'Ok, you tell me one dark secret and I will tell you one' (She will not want to go first, but insist - it give you time to match yours against hers). If she says no, let it go and say 'this is give and take, if you don't want to divulge, I won't either.' (non-supplicating) Have a prepared secret about yourself - it doesn't really have to be anything spectular either - I prefer about sex cuz it sets up the right mood. I have asked many girls about the kinkiest thing they have ever done - red-faced and ashamed, they seem afraid to answer and then say something tame/lame like 'I like to be tied up!'. Owww you bad girl! Or 'what is the weirdest place you have ever had sex?' Most of the time it is mundane like the backseat of a car or in their parents bed. I like to tell them about the time I had sex in the Kmart change room. Sex is a great seguay into bed. You pique their interest and they want to know more about you sexually. Here are some secrets: A fight in highschool you had where the bloodlust was more than you expected (girls like a manly encounter) A sexual encounter (set up for later that night - gets her thinking about sex) A deviant sexual place (same as above) Important * Never give too much detail, it will ruin 'still-mysterious' image they have of you. Make it matter-of-factly, but something that you only tell the closest of friends. c) If you want to know more, you will just have to... This is one of this most important parts of the method - ASK THEM WHY THEY ARE SO INTERESTED! This is the final nail. They have to at least ADMIT TO THEMSELVES that they are interested in your secret - and they have to IMAGINE WHAT YOUR SECRET IS! Once they have imagined it, they are already on their way. They want to know more about you -INTIMATELY! 5) T.I.M.E. I Like to call this the T.I.M.E. routine. I have to give credit to Dohn Joe on this one for rounding out my theory on it. If you want to chase one girl, these are my rules that will allow you accomplish this without resorting to ONEITIS. It has to everything to do with the amount of time and effort (and timing as well) you put into the chasing on this ONE GIRL. It also has a massive amount to do with whether you are dogging chicks in the meantime. The motto 'Put in a little, get out ALOT'. T)IME/ING - putting in a little time is cool - as long as it does not prevent or supersede you PICKING UP OTHER GIRLS. If putting in even a little time is an obstacle in improving your PUA skills (because you are not practicing with other girls cuz of it), then my friend, move on. Time could also be referred 'timing'. In many cases, when you try to PU a girl - the timing might be wrong. She might really like you, but things have come up in her life that prevent you from scoring. It might be the difference of a day/week/month that changes her mind. I)NVESTMENT - Emotional investment. If you have some emotional investment or if you want her as a long term girlfriend that is ok. You must learn to manage this emotional - put it in the back of your mind - until you know that this girl is finally yours. Don't let this one girl stop you from Picking Up other girls! M)OBILE TEXTING - mobile/cellular texting. Isn't technology great?! This a tremendous icebreaker, rapport builder and general friendly way of talking to girls without putting in alot of time. Texting takes less than a minute and could mean the difference between 'GETting'the girl and her 'forGETing' about you. A small text note, saying 'hi, how is your day' is a great way of letting a girl know you are interested - but not so interested that you are investing anything more than a minute of your time. E)MAIL - email is alot like texting, but offers more in the way of thought-provoking conversation. It is easy to do and a very small investment of your time. Email is great because it does not put the girl on the spot. She is not forced to respond immediately (this means that YOU MUST GET OUT THERE AND PRACTIVE ON OTHER CHICKS IN THE MEANTIME!). It also allows you to think about your response - for those having a hard time with thinking on the spot. It is great for getting to know the girl on a deeper level as well. Girls will say things in email (cuz it is not face to face) that they might feel too inhibited to say in your presence. _________________________________________________________________________________ General Tips Here is some tips for anybody interested in Seduction. Check it out. http://www.fastseduction.com/ cgi-bin/search.cgi?action=retrieve&grp=1&mn=94878107532358 Shoes : I believe a great pair of shoes are an incredible asset to anyone out their PUing. I have read and heard many times that girls definitely check out what kind of shoes guys are wearing - that means - trainers, running shoes and sneakers are a no-no when you are dressed up to go out! It might be from the fact that generally speaking, girls love shoes and have many different shoes for different occasions - this could be tapping into their 'sole' (for the thick - read as 'soul') :) They don't have to be expensive shoes - there are Payless Shoe stores everywhere. It is your preference whether they are shiny or not - shiny shoes require more care (and you should shine them up before you go out - a little time can go a long way in making you look good.) Shiny shoes shows the girls take care of your shoes - even if you only shine them up on the weekends! Suede and new-buck are ok as well, just as long as they look good with what you are wearing. Black is usually a safe bet, but brown and dark brown can also be added. _________________________________________________________________________________ If you can't approach women cold... If you have a difficult time approaching girls on the street, clubs, shopping malls etc., talk to girls that have no choice but to answer back - in grocery stores, video stores, clothing stores, banks, health food shops etc. Why it works is simple. They are NOT USED TO FRIENDLY CONVERSATION during the transaction. All you have to do is ask them 'how is your day going?'. Instant rapport because you are not asking anything out of the ordinary, not 'hitting-on' them. There is nothing to be nervous about because you are not doing anything that is going to be construed at 'hitting-on' them. My favourite is glancing at the name tag (most have name tags) and saying: 'How are you, Brenda?' (It is also a proven fact that people love the sound of their own name). They are so surprised that you know their name that they hit a trance state right then and there. Try it and I guarantee it will work. Talking to clerks also lets you get to know them - the next time you see them out, they will definitely remember you - you used THEIR NAME for gods sake! After you ask them about their day, they feel obligated to ask how you are doing too - instant conversation without fear of reprisal! DJ If you can't make a decision... Decisions are an important part of SS. As a man, you should be decisive. Where you go, what you do etc. When women are left to their own devices, their decisions might not be in your favour. For example; RJ gives an example of when you are in bed with a girl and you do not go all the way because you want to respect her (DO NOT READ THIS AS 'FORCING' OR 'COERCING' THE GIRL - there are subtle ways of 'going all the way' - NO still means NO and forced sex is rape!). What ends up happening is the girl feels (the next morning) that she made right the decision, rather than you and that her decision was a correct one. She therefore has to come up with more and more reasons why she choose that path - bad for you. Instead, if you slept with you, she has to come up with decisions why she slept with you - good for you. Another example is when you let a girl decide what movie to see, even if you don't want to see that movie. She suddenly sees you as the pushover and her as the decision maker. You suddenly fall into this category of PUSHOVER. It is better to compromise, say 'ok, this time your pick and next time mine' or vise-versa. That way, everyone wins. _________________________________________________________________________________ Moving Targets (MT) Street PU (MT) are probably the hardest to realize - because they are MOVING TARGETS. They are unpredictable and probably the most ballsy approaches you can make (a bonus for confidence). A street PU pushes you to STOP a passing woman, break her state, create the state YOU WANT and attempt a PU. If this was not bad enough, there are many factors that will influence whether you are successful or not. 1) Weather - is it raining? Cold? Snowy? Are you causing the girl to stand in the freezing while the PU is attempted? 2) Time Constraints - is she in a hurry? Is she on a lunch break? Catching the bus or train? 3) Friends - Is she with friends? A group? I believe the best way to break the state of a Moving Target (MT), is to compliment her. You need something to make it worth her while to STOP. Will she stop if you try some fluff talk? I think complementing a girl on something - energy, clothes, special piece of her ensemble etc is the best way to break the state and hopefully get her to continue the conversation. Then the next best thing is to PACE HER REALITY. Tell her that this is a strange way to meet someone - on the street, you know that she is going somewhere, in a hurry etc. Now RJ says it is good to say 'STOP' to put her mind on hold and clear a blank state - this works if you are up to it! Also, try to approach the MT on a 45 degree angle - so that they can see you out of the corner of their perspective. Approaching straight on is CONFRONTATIONAL and from the back is MUGGING. _________________________________________________________________________________ A pattern a day gets you the lay What I found works for me is trying different patterns each day - ON EVERYONE. Example : Today : I tried the 'its too bad you can't, but if you could...' on three girls. Yesterday : 'You're laughing, see it feels good to laugh? Doesn't it, don't you? The more you laugh, the more you can't help but think about me' Tomorrow : I am going to try some weasel phrases 'Won't you be surprised when you find yourself thinking about me in a very special way...' or 'if you were too...', 'I wonder what its like too...' The next day I am going to try time distortion. My logic behind this is simple : SS is HUGE! The material behind it is vast and there is alot to learn. There is simply too much to memorize and take in all at once. When you break it down, it becomes easier organize and work with. I am finding that the more I do this, the more I interrelate the phrases in everyday conversation. Instead of trying to learn it all at once, I use a little bit each day. Pretty soon I will be able to use it all fluidly in everyday conversation. Now this does not mean I use a specific pattern exclusively - sometimes other phrases or patterns get shoved in there - that is the goal. That is great, it means I am becoming comfortable with the stuff! (I try not to use the same content - remember process over content, but these are just examples - each situations dictates different content. Some of my best subjects are people I already know!) I find that I am using it all the time now - even if I just slip in a weasel phrase when I am speaking - I am still using it and getting more familiar with it. The goal is to get it to sound natural to everyone - so use it with everyone! _________________________________________________________________________________ Emotional States PU is NOT about HITTING ON girls. This is a common misconception among people. It is instead about creating an emotional state/framework. This emotional state/framework (which girls work within) help you to lead her in the direction to want to go. Think about it. If you walk into a room where everybody is happy, having a good time - you suddenly find yourself becoming excited and having a good time also. These people have created a state/framework of happiness/joy. Now, all you have to do is to work on a smaller scale - one girl. If you want to get her to: Get Horny Become attracted to you Become intrigued with you Become Interested in you You need to break her state and bring her into yours. You can accomplish this by: Telling stories Using quotes Building Rapport Mirroring Weasel phrases Time distortion all RJ By using these above methods (this is not a complete list, just examples) you bring her to 'that state'. For example : if you are trying to get her horny, you might say 'I don't suppose you could feel incredibly horny and feel all the desire building up in you. And the more it builds, the more it feels good. It does feel good, doesn't it? As the fire begins to spread throughout your body to certain...places' NOTE : Never have you 'hit on' her. You are talking, implying, but never actually hitting on the girl. _________________________________________________________________________________ Tonality Tonality is a vital part of any conversation. It can convey how you feel and your emotional state. The tone of someone's voice can put you at ease or make you feel scared - in fact it can run the gamut of human emotions! It is therefore important to know how YOU SOUND TO OTHER PEOPLE. What is your tonality like? Are you whiney? Are you monotone? Are you a fast talker? Do you sound sexy? Delivering good tonality is like being a good actor. You need to project what you feel to the audience, clearly and consisely so that if the audience can't see your face or body - the overall feeling comes through. To get that feeling projected it is best to create the sounds necessary in your diaphram (stomach), not your throat/lips/lungs. Put your hand on your stomach while you say a few words - feel the words and feelings start there. So what next? My advice is to get a tape recorder or use the microphone on your computer and read something in a normal speaking voice. Rewind it and listen to it. How do you sound? Now, create a list of Unconscious Commands (UC - in green) in a regular conversational framework and read that, putting sexy and diaphramatic emphasis on the UC. Record that and listen. Example: (speaking to a girl) Her : How are you? Me: You know what? I am having one of those all time great days. The kind of day where you feel everything in front of you is great. Where you look past the surface and see what is really important in your life. Imagining how good it feels just to be alive. I have had a girl recently tell me I sound like a hypnotist on those audio tapes - just because I changed my tonality. The fact that she was into to me showed that it worked! Lastly, it is very hypnotic to PAUSE. Talk. PAUSE. Talk. PAUSE. Talk. PAUSE. Talk. PAUSE. Have you ever had a conversation with someone that gets stoned alot? Listen to them - they pause and talk slowly (peppered alot of times with umm...). In a way, it is like they are formulating what to say - they are thinking about it (in defence of people that like to get stoned - I have nothing against you! In fact, I find pausing before answering shows alot of thought into what they are going to say instead of just saying what comes to mind.) PAUSING causes the listener to imagine what YOU are going to say next. They GO INTO A TRANCE - and start to follow the speaking and breathing pattern. _________________________________________________________________________________ COLD READING I have recently been delving into COLD READING and will share my findings in the future. Body Language We have all heard of body language. We have all heard it comprises 90% of what we are actually saying - 10% is verbal. With so many myths about body language, where do you begin? Well, I have to confess - the scope of body language in its entirety is much beyond this website and this individual. Instead I try to look out for key things - Reciprocated KINO (ie; touching) Playing with her hair Relaxed posture Good eye contact Another great strategy I have learned is to watch what they say and see if there body is telling a different story. Example would include asking a question a yes/no question, listening for the answer and watching if they nod/shake their head. Did the two match up? _________________________________________________________________________________ Observe And Use (OAU) I have learned so much from Ross Jeffries, but Observe and Use has helped me talk to girls more than anything else. It makes cold openers easy. Now Ross says his best ideas come from his intuition - that may be true. But I think it is truer to say that he is great at induction - DEFINITION:(Philos.) The act or process of reasoning from a part to a whole, from particulars to generals, or from the individual to the universal; also, the result or inference so reached. What this means is simple. Ross surveys the situation/girl very quickly, picks out certain things that are important/active in what is going on in the said situation and USES IT in his approach. What a difference this has made for me. I am still learning and getting quicker. With OAU, I don't always have to challenge myself with the 3 second rule (situation permitting of course). I OBSERVE - I take in as much info as possible, think about how I could approach her USING that info and approach. Here are a couple of recent examples: Girls on Train : Two girls were on the train, swearing, cursing and talking dirty. Me : I guess girls do talk as dirty as guys Her : Laughing - idle witty back and forth banter. Me : it is too bad we don't have more time, I would like to analyze your handwriting. Her : Really? You do that? More banter Me : Well, it is just a hobby. I feel with the above situation, a cold walkup is pretty difficult. These girls were younger and I didn't have much in common - on the surface. But discovering something about the situation not only paced their reality, but lead me into a situation where I could talk to them. Girls with her Mother: the mother was trying to warm her daughter by rubbing her arms. Me : Come on, it is not that cold! Mother : Laughing. Yes it is! Daughter : Laughing herself - idle banter A mother and daughter! Easy as pie. I looked at the situation, picked out what I could use and went for it.